tit’s up
This pig is about to go tits up. I don’t care if you all don’t. I’ll bang the gong again if it suits a fancy. If it’s pissin’ up a rope, lets kill it.
I”m just sayin’.
Velocipa
Hey, damn, I had to dig up the keys to get back in here.
Recently Velocipa made another trip around el sol. He’s taken lately to the Utube. So, in honor of his recent revolution around the big, shiny, stinky, here’s a Utube just for him.
Now, if the singer in that video didn’t look enough like a monkey to suit him, it’s now possible that he could experiment with some primate DNA manipulation and make the perfect monkey… He may be old, but he can read a map.
Some excerpts from the monkey gene article in case you’re not snapping that one up:
fuzzy animals are key to testing the safety of many medicines.
Chatham artillery punch tasters. If it almost killed ‘em, it’s just right. If it made them wish they were dead, it’s perfect.
the same genetic mutation that makes people ill seems normal for the macaques.
Excellent for determining the reactions of people at blog meets to Velocimoves made in public.
It gives you a glimmer of how subtle changes in DNA cause big trouble.
Why did the monkey humping me in Helen make me feel funny in the pants?
Add these more ancient Old World monkeys into the mix, however, and it may be possible to tease out genetic changes that were important for key traits of modern humans, such as higher brain power and walking upright.
I’m taking this thing to the next blogmeet and figuring out what makes Zonker sleep through them.
Stay tuned: More primate gene maps are on the way, including blueprints for orangutans, gorillas and gibbons.
Those science guys are making pappy proud. He’s going to corner the market on primates after a few more meetings with Ellison. Then, there will be money to be made by pimping them to research foundations. For certain he knows the right monkey for the desired results.
I’ve never seen a monkey play guitar like that though. The training must be paying off.
Calling all cars
Goddammit, where the fuck is Tapirboy when you need him?
Pissing me off, really, his absence.
The unattainable is unknown
Yes, it really is. It’s the last link I click on at night with my computer by my bed. I know I’m getting psyched up while I sleep. Zombocom keeps me going. It’s the battery that runs me.
Sissys
This thing must be smoked out one way or the other. Uluguru, Tanzania. That’s a safe country, right? It’s not like Darfur, or Rwanda, or the Democratic Republic of the Congo is it, Keesie? I’m not expected to buy yellowcake, am I? By the way, I am deathly afraid of machetes wielded with malice.
COME !!
I love old Kung Fu Movies.
You know, where the soundtrack is on a seven second delay from the lip track… Yeah those kind. Here’s one thing I like about them, the posturing.
And still, more posturing.
And finally, there’s always the…
A Truism
There are two kinds of people who inhabit this wooly World of ours; Those who piss in the shower and liars.
Discuss.
I don’t pretend to know which one of us pissed him off, but someone did.
There’s something about this vid plugin that I’m not getting the hang of just yet, so there’s no thumbnail for the image… Yes, you actually need to click on the text link.[”Play Windows Media Version”] below. Sorry.
It is worth the click though, IMHO. Pappy in action. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which one in the mini-movie is “Pappy”, but, one of us around here take the last action in this movie. You might want to moderate the volume on your speakers or stay close to the mute button in the player.
Despite my dimuitive size, that last monkey was not me. I’m blaming the author with the dot, well the dotted one, or Bella. It could happen.
On second thought, play it loud, just not in front of baby monkies. Don’t want to give them any ideas now do we pappy?
The Artist
Velociman scratched his head, lifting his right eyebrow, producing a subtle squint in his left eye. The canvas came into sharp focus.
He scraped some Grumbacher’s titanium dioxide onto his palette knife and applied it liberally. The delicate brushstrokes would come later; right now was the time for bold swaths of pigment. White pigment. The pigment that would define his Master Work.
“Albino Inuit Eating Vanilla Ice Cream and Hunting Polar Bear In Blizzard while Being Struck With Shaving Cream Pie” was to be the culmination of his life as an artist.
But when Bella, the new puppy, knocked the still-wet canvas off the easel and proceeded to take a shit on it, Velociman, surprisingly, did not fly into a murderous rage.
“Fuck it,” he said. If I can’t paint white, I’ll blog white.
And so he did.
Just hanging around.
I wondered what daddy would do with all his time now that he’s got a collegiate and thus some extra free time. I know he’s tryin’ to teach his dog neat tricks to do at obedience school. Well, I’ll be damned. He’s figured out how to train the monkey so that he and his monkey can see eye to eye while playing in the back yard.
